Top 10 New Year Resolutions for Clueless B2B Marketers

  • AvatarMarco

It is interesting to note that during this particular time, when you are ticking the days away in anticipation of a brand new year to come, we are usually rendered with certain abilities, mental states, and overwhelming feelings. A surprising number of us for example will turn into sagacious B2B Marketing prophets who are able to foretell the future, encapsulate everything into a few cool sentences, and look fantastic with a fake beard and a crystal ball. Some are even brilliant at it in a cool and serious way.

A few would make it even better by gladly donning their Santa hats (since they already have the beard), gifting us with tons of helpful B2B Marketing tips and advice which can prepare us for the annual changing of the guard. It is always a great privilege to bask in the knowledge and experience of lovely people who are regarded as thought leaders in our field.

The rest on the other hand would simply let the festive holiday mood seep in and enjoy the last remaining days of a very eventful and interesting year. They would probably start to draft their New Year resolutions too. In light of that, we started re-thinking the entire process. Rather than approach it with the massive excitement of a kid anticipating his first root canal, we’ve decided to infuse a bit of humour into the whole thing. We’ve made a list not for ourselves (nor for our wonderful audience) but for those who need these resolutions badly. But before we begin, don’t forget to take off the fake beard.

Say hello to the handy Top 10 New Year Resolutions for Clueless B2B MarketersTM. It is the shiny new list which you can hand out to people who are easily attracted to shiny new things.

I promise from now on that …

  1. I would put importance on originality and creativity. I will respect the staggering amount of effort, inspiration, passion, time and unadulterated-skill to churn out original and creative concepts. If I do this then hopefully those weird people at the creative department would stop giving me those serial-killer stares every time I pass them on the way to the pantry.
  2. I would keep tabs on marketing ideas and relevant technology. Seriously, we are inundated with brilliant technology and techniques and all we do is just stand on the sidelines and let everyone else pass us by. 2011 marks the return to the basics of digital marketing and it’s time for me to really learn about landing pages, email marketing with scientific techniques, proper copywriting, etc. Now I can finally use that digital marketing book I bought years ago.
  3. I would stop being an ostrich. No offense to our large feathery friends, but do you notice that every time ostriches are scared their instinct is to run or bury their heads in the sand (really now …)? In B2B Marketing, logic trumps instinct any day of the year though I admit that I must also learn to make both work hand-in-hand. Gut feelings simmer surprisingly well with research and proper methodology. That and the fact that I am sick and tired of wearing this ostrich costume. I think this is why those weird people at the creative department keep making fun of me.
  4. I would understand the intricacies of Social Media first before doing anything. Though I would very much love for you to add me on Facebook (pretty please with sugar on top), it came to my attention that I must know the answer to ‘why’ first before even tackling the ‘when’ and ‘how’. And jumping on the bandwagon is as hard as it sounds. The last time I tried it I accidentally knocked my arm hard on the pavement.
  5. I can bend or break rules as long as I know and understand them first. At least that’s how the visionaries put it. It’s always nice to be on the side of the experts.
  6. I must always aim for proper content. Yes I know that I already covered it on number 2. But this is an important topic that’s why it needs to be stressed.
  7. I must not believe the hype. I know … I REALLY LOVE shiny new things. But I now realize the folly of my ways and must refrain from going with the mob every time there’s a commotion without even knowing why. My arm still hurts from the last time I jumped onto the bandwagon.
  8. I must avoid gobbledygook at all times. As much as I love dropping masterpieces such as synergy, convergence, one-stop-shop, etc. because they are ‘da bomb’, I must admit that these words do not belong inside a B2B marketer’s vocabulary. B2B marketers should stop murdering the wonderful words in the dictionary if only for the sole purpose of sounding unique. There’s a difference between sounding unique and making sense.
  9. I must read, read, and read. They say that reading can take you places, enrich your lives, open doors to new dimensions, lets you fight dragons or orcs, or even take you across time as well as keeping you up-to-date on the latest on B2B Marketing. Who am I to dispute that?
  10. I must stop being a salesman. I am a marketer and I must know the difference between marketing and sales. I promise never to tag my friends in product pictures in Facebook or flood their Twitter streams. I want my friends back. Add me please.

So there you go, your one-stop-shop … um, er … *ahem* … handy list of the Top 10 New Year Resolutions for Clueless B2B MarketersTM. Hopefully you don’t get to hand this out to someone. That would be unfortunate and funny at the same time. As Jeremy Clarkson would say … on this bombshell, we have come to the end of this post.

Do you find our tongue-in-cheek take on New Year resolutions refreshing? Would you like to add more to the list? Let us know! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

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2 COMMENTS

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December 17, 2010

Marco Del Castillo

Yeah, I made a bit of a switcheroo on that one. Corrected as we speak. And thank you very much for the vote of confidence on #1 and #6. Great to know that some of us still feel strongly about it. Now that's a very comforting thought. :)

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December 17, 2010

DHgate.com

Are ostriches furry? Aren't they... feathery?nnGood points though! #1 and #6 I epsecially agree with - it's the hardest thing to come up with orginal compelling content and concepts - that's why so few do it well.